Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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