I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
