Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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