I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
