He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
