I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
