i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
