census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize