I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize