awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
