how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
