I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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