This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
