:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
