I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
