Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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