talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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