she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
