in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize