WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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