Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
