that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
