Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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