New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
