i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
