The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
time to smoke my breakfast
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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