I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
