I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
