Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
