My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
