so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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