Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
