He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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