I hope mine doesn't look like that
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
