white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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