the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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