what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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