two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
