Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
