dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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