We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
