with your own penis?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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