ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
