The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
