is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
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At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
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he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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