i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
