So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
