Please, let me fuck your mom
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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