You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
