Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize