my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
