Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
