Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
