Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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