Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
