you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
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I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You don't make any sense
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