Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize