Whod you bang
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Come see our sink grown plant.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
