we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
