i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
