So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
did i just pee glitter
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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