doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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