Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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