Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf βIβm wfh tomrw. Nooner? π¦β
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience π€·π»ββοΈ
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize